Skank of the Year

A heartfelt congratulations to Ermith Emonfils of Fort Pierce, Florida:

Taste My Napkin

Taste My Napkin

Please read the touching story below and see if you agree with my recognition. I pray to God that nobody sends me a better nominee.

— A 27-year-old woman accused of shoplifting cologne and trying to touch an officer with a “well-used and bloody female sanitary napkin” Tuesday is facing charges, according to an arrest affidavit released Wednesday.

Ermith Emonfils, of the 400 block of North 14th Street, was stopped after allegedly walking out of a Walgreens on Orange Avenue without paying for a $29.99 box of Elizabeth Arden Mediterranean cologne. Emonfils also had a bottle of bright green Sinful Colors nail polish and a package of “extra long” black fake eyelashes.

She pulled what appeared to be a dollar bill from her overalls and tried handing it to an officer, but the officer didn’t take it.

“The woman began speaking strangely and trying to get close to me,” the affidavit states.

Emonfils said, “Sex? Sex?” while walking toward an officer before she was handcuffed.

As officers put her in a patrol car, she “grabbed behind her and pointed a well-used and bloody female sanitary napkin” at two officers.

“Both officers told her to drop the well-used and bloody female sanitary napkin, but the suspect refused,” the affidavit states. “I delivered a firm, lawful command to the suspect to drop the object and told her it was gross.”

A female officer eventually put the “offensive and potentially dangerous biohazard item” in a plastic bag.

Emonfils faces three misdemeanor charges in connection with the incident.

Yuck. But, you know…

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